March 31, 2009

Wow, today was an alright day. I met a dude who ran for St. Josephs and now teaches at a nearby elementary. He's trying to get back in shape to run some 10ks and 5ks. He'd really like to qualify for Penn Relays, not this year but the next, or maybe in two years. See, about a year ago he ruptured a disc in his back. He had surgery and he's now on the road to recovery. Penn Relays would be a helluva feat.

You know, today might have been a great day if it wasn't for the jackass that removed my cheese and turkey from the drawer in the company fridge. That's low, man. I hope one day you literally starve. And as your innards groan in anguish you remember that last slice of provolone and the 1/4 lb. thin cuts of bourbon glazed turkey that were going to be my lunch.

March 30, 2009

Wow, today was a good day of work. The New passed along some hot tips he learned from Michael Masterson's AWAI Masters Program. Trog gave me some advice on not calling my coworkers work into question. The Kid had me look up a quick fact for him. RC gave me an idea for keeping birds out of my grasseed (hot peppers). At lunch, Hughes pinned me with a really deep question, and finally, The Boss had me send an important piece of writing to a group of reviewers. See how great teamwork is?

March 29, 2009

Look, you probably don't know what that picture is. I wouldn't either except I remember taking it. It's some girl's butt. Wheels dared me to grab it when we were down on 6th street. I did, and I took a photo to remember it.

Wow, Whitney's stepdad, Martin Brill, has a nice house. It has 5 bedrooms, or maybe 6. Each has it's own bathroom. And he's got a fitness room with floor-to-ceiling mirrors. And a billiards room with lights that dim. And a large study. And two driveways. And a steam shower. And a labrador retriever named Buddy. Buddy and I played fetch until he got so tired he grabbed the tennis ball and ran all the way around the house. I chased after him. When I found him, he had already leapt the gate to the back patio and was laying on the canvas pool cover lapping up chlorinated water and smiling at me.

March 28, 2009

Wow, today was a show. I woke up early to run a 10k road race. Whitney, Martin, and Alisa all ran too. When the race was over, we went to a Herd for Ferd brunch. Ferd has leukemia, but he's a fighter. There are 96 people in the Herd and they raised $38,000 to fight Ferd's sickness. Additional money was spent on the brunch and even more on Herd T-shirts. Ferd's people sure know how to throw money at things. I was just thankful for a great breakfast spread.

Later in the day I did a "shakeout" run, during which I had a lot of negative thoughts about my ability to race fast.

Soon enough I got over it. Whitney's dad invited us to a Cuban restaurant. According to Whitney "he was in one of his moods." Maybe it was because his girlfriend and her kids came to dinner too. In any case, David's a generous guy in said moods - he bought me an 8 oz bottle of Miller High Life and then goaded me for ordering a light dinner. And to top the night off, his girlfriend's daughter rubbed legs with me under the table. I glanced at this girl's boyfriend and Whitney to see if they were onto it. They weren't.

March 27, 2009

Trog and I headed out from work early today. We were on our way to Richmond.

I got dropped off outside the VCU track, and that's when things got buck nitty.

I walked over to the Expo Center looking for Jimmy Jam. Of course, he was talking up a tall blond (allegedly Olympian Alan Webb's girlfriend, but who gives a -). I gave him his space and moved in behind him to help sell the running shoes he had been pushing all day. We sold a couple more shoes then rolled back over to the track where all our boys were running a 5k. People at the gate wanted 5 bones for admission so we shoved our way through a side gate. Our boys swept 1st through 6th. I'm not sure any of them even broke a sweat. That's just how they do.

March 26, 2009

Ladies and Gentlemen...the NCAA mile championships (ft. Ian Fitzgerald)

March 25, 2009

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness. Have you ever been so excited about something you can hardly contain yourself? I have a couple times too.



(disclaimer: what follows is unrelated to writing above)
Get this, Beirne told us a great story tonight about the time his parents went out of town on vacation and he was was home getting ready for the fall semester at Ole Miss. Before they left, his parents gave him money for food and gas and $50 extra to have their miserable, old, blind dog put down. He had to do it on the hush because no one wanted his younger siblings to find out.

So being Beirne, he quickly spent the 50 bucks on beer and then thought, oh no what am I going to do with old Benji? First he tried to kill the beast by startling it into a heart attack. When that didn't work Beirne took the the dog out on the water and threw him overboard. The dog gave a pathetic attempt at a paddle and Beirne thought what the Hell and pulled him back on the boat. Next he set Benji down on the road and got behind the wheel of his pickup, but he just couldn't find it in him to hit the gas. Finally Beirne said, aw let's just get it over with. He grabbed the shotgun and some shells and he and old Benji went out to the woods. Of course this whole time Benji was in such a pathetic state he didn't realize his life was teetering on the brink.

When Beirne started to shove the shells in the gun he fell to pieces. He fumbled around trying to get it loaded and then in a fit of rage he nearly used the butt to do Benji in. But by that point Benji had become immortal to Beirne. No way he could do God's work now.

That's when he finally took the dog to the vet to be put down. That'll be $125 in disposal fees, sir. "No way!" said Beirne, "I'll bury him myself." So he took old dead Benji back out to his car in a black bag as everyone else in the vet's office gawked. He put Benji in the trunk and drove on to college. After 4 or 5 days of college excitement he came back out to his car and realized what he'd left there. Oh no! So Beirne threw the rotting remains out in a ditch and that was the end of Benji.

March 24, 2009

Vs.

March 23, 2009

Look, today was back to business. I usually don't drink coffee or Vault, but today I had both. Then I remembered how Keith's cousins said drinking energy drinks can kill you. Particularly Volt, which isn't Vault. Even though their argument was nonsense, both cousins are attractive.

When I got home I did some yard work and took pictures of all the home construction going down on Fayette St. One of the chicks living across the street rolled up and got out of her car looking like she meant business...dark shades and gray business skirt. I would have said hi but I was intimidated.

March 22, 2009

Wow, today was great. Keith, Dan, Ellen and I met at Bull Run Battlefield for a long run. Maybe it was a short run for Keith and Ellen...They sometimes run 4 hours in a day.

Keith still farts a lot. He says that hasn't changed. Regardless, he and Ellen are getting married on October 24th. Awesome. I feel pretty lucky to hang out with these friends.

March 21, 2009

See you next time, Texas.

Fruits and I almost got an entire crossword done on the plane ride to Memphis. We met a girl from North Central High that now goes to IU. She studies neuroscience or some such and she borrowed one of Fruits's crosswords. I doubt she finished it because she spent a good deal of the flight taking pictures of the sunrise.

March 20, 2009

March 19, 2009

This is a bum's guard dog. The bum bumps around in the bar while his dog sits on his stuff.

March 18, 2009

March 17, 2009

March 16, 2009

March 15, 2009

March 14, 2009

March 13, 2009

Today I shared an early morning cab ride with a stylish girl from D.C. Her name was Natasha Indanile, and she was getting ready to fly to Nawlins.

In the Minneapolis airport there are a lot of nice things for travelers to look at. Especially from the observation deck. At Gate C19 I saw real life apple bottoms.

When I got to Austin I immediately went running with Brad and Evan. We crossed the river and then doubled back under the bridge. Then, for the first time in my life I smelled bat shit. It's somewhere between lowgrade Mexican food and new shoe smell.

March 12, 2009

Yo, it's time for the market rally to begin.

March 11, 2009

Good god, there was a real debacle at the Smile Market after work today. Right when I got home I put some eggs on to fry. But I was real hungry - I wanted some cereal too. Problem was, I had no milk. So I went around the corner to the Smile Market. A husband and wife run the store. Let's just say English isn't their first language. At the fridge in the back of the store I had a few options. The wife popped up at my side to give me the price schedule. Gallon of 2% - $4.50; half gallon of organic 2% - $4.50; one pint of whole - $1.50; one quart of soy - $4.50.

Look, all I wanted was a half gallon of skim, but I could tell mom and pop were eager to make a sale. So I took the gallon. The man took my card and rang the sale as $0.47. He showed it to me and tried to explain his mistake, but he didn't have the words. The woman tried to explain by asking me what is 4.70 minus 0.47. Before I could answer the man rerang me for $4.23. OK, that's fine. Except as I was signing both receipts the woman starts cramming my milk in plastic. No, no I tell her. It's fine I'll carry it. But she shrugs and insists, a kind gesture.

Finally I make it out of the store. 10 steps later one handle snaps on the bag and my milk goes flying all over the pavement. I salvaged a half gallon and got home and ate sunny side up burnt eggs. And Strawberry Delight Mini Wheats.

March 10, 2009

Look, it would be unreasonable to expect that every day could be just like today. When I woke up I had the name Fran Franchilla stuck in my head. But by the time I'd taken a leak and come back downstairs I was focused on getting to work.

Once there, I spent a lot of time fretting about taxes. It wasn't until after work in the weight room that The Boss explained most people don't file their returns with 100% certainty that they have it all right. In a tangential conversation, Nathan "the" Alderman wouldn't pipe down about biased television media. Still later when we tried explain to him that some people don't even value hard work the way the Western world does, he really lost it. But man, he really had a lot of weight moving on that peck deck.

Everyone should do themselves a favor after reading this and go find that Jack Handey story about the wild west. It starts: He was a cowboy, mister...

March 9, 2009

Wow, today was an alright day. Trog convinced me to play basketball after work. He said without me there wouldn't be enough players. Well, he was wrong. I went and there were 11 players. So Trog gave me a ride and bought me a burger to make up for it.

I asked my roommate if he'd payed our gas bill. He said he took care of it. According to him utilities come to $800/mo. Well, he's "exaggerating, a little. More like $600." But he'll take care of it, don't worry about it. Just like he took care of it when our water was shut off. Or when we owed $750 in late gas payments. "Dude, if you had to take care of this stuff, you'd stop doing it pretty fast too."

March 8, 2009

Today I went to Virginia Beach. No one calls it "VA Beach." That's what Drew told me, and he'd know because he's from VA Beach.

Remember the time Lewis and I thought we were flying from Charlotte to Newport News and we ended up in Raleigh? That was a conundrum. We were at the gate we were ticketed for, and we boarded a full plane where the only open seats were our assigned ones. You figure that one out. And when you do, tell Lewis about it, not me.

March 7, 2009

Wow, Look, today was cool too.





















Whitney ruined my cell phone in the wash because I left it in my basketball shorts.

We still like each other, but like most love stories it has its peaks and valleys.

March 6, 2009

Wow, today was a pretty good day.

It was cake day and I was eager to have a piece. But before I could take my first bite I noticed a long black hair poking out of my cake. It was a whisker! The New hung a danger sign beside the table...

March 5, 2009

Look, today was a pretty good day. Don't believe me? Ask the guys I work with. We all went to see the Capitals play the Leafs. The New shouted a lot on the street and it kind of embarrassed us. But then he groaned a lot while he was taking a leak and that made us laugh.

In the cab on the way home, I asked the driver where he was from. Nigeria. Then I asked him if he was proud to come from there. Soon after, I got out.

March 4, 2009

Yo, on the basketball court Tim called a foul on The New. The New said "I didn't know this was bitch ball." I hope that doesn' t make you think more of The New. Then Tim hit a couple 3's and called The New a fatass. I hope this doesn' t make you think more of Tim.

March 3, 2009

Look, today was a pretty good day. I finished my last box of cereal this morning and my last can of Beefaroni for lunch.

That's why I went to the grocery store with The Boss. He bought soap and Lean Cuisines. I bought an avocado and a new toothbrush among other things.

Isn't it strange how I spent the better part of four years sharing 5 shower heads with 40 guys? Wide open - "tip to tip." It's amazing what the human mind and body can be taught to tolerate. We shouldn't forget that.

March 2, 2009

Look, sometimes in life you lose. Markets drop 4%, pets pass away, basketball teams go winless. But most of the time, if you want to, you win.

Like today when I came home from work and used my recycling bin to scrape all the snow off my windshield in one swipe.














My roommate told me about some of the visions he's had in the past. For example, he was lying on his back looking into the sun when he saw two small black spots. One grew bigger and bigger until he realized it was a beautiful bird hurling toward him. It's claws were spread as it rushed right over the top of his head. Then he woke up and his mother called from the room down the hall, "your step father just died."

He used to have visions about every two years, but hasn't had one in a while. He now predicts 25 million people in America will die of starvation in the next 5-10 years. Stay tuned...

March 1, 2009

Look, today was the last basketball game of the season. We lost 27-6. Afterward we had cupcakes and Capri Suns. At least Nebyou - with icing smeared all over his face - was happy.

At Safeway a fat woman was stocking up on groceries and mumbling about a coming snowstorm. The register woman, who appeared to have mild Down Syndrome, said "If it was gonna snow, it woulda come by now." The other woman had some rebuttle: "Oh it's coming alright." She was certain. The disagreement ended with both parties shaking their heads. (Before falling asleep tonight I prayed it wouldn't snow much for the register lady.)

I came home and started reading King Henry IV Part 2. Then I turned on the TV until I remembered we lost our stolen cable connection. So I turned it off.

February 28, 2009

Look, today was a pretty standard day. I woke up early to go run with Kurt DeKemper at Roosevelt Island. Kurt and Penny are in D.C. to visit Tyler. Kurt told me how drug companies have a tough time passing new treatments because they have to clear with both the FDA and the EU. And the FDA is unreasonable - they expect cures with no side effects.

I talked to Jake on the phone this evening. He's coming back from a track meet. He raced the mile in 4:59 with a sinus infection. Last week he ran 4:44, which is 9 seconds faster than Whitney's old boyfriend's most recent mile. Chump city...