February 27, 2009

Today was Pizza Day and Huddle. Usually that means a good day, but things were a bit off key instead. The Boss yelled at me for asking how much the CEO of our company makes each year. Actually, he was angry because Lee from HR spent 7 minutes answering by not answering. After that, The Kid left early to spectate the World Squash Championships in Richmond.

I ran up to T.C. Williams High School and did strides on the school track. Then I came back to my place and ate leftover pizza.

Have you ever seen The United States of Leland? It's a film. Sort of like 7th Heaven, only more literary.

February 26, 2009

Wow, today was a pretty good day. Annie had a birthday and Nicci bought cake for everyone to enjoy. Plus, I had Beefaroni for lunch.

This evening Pacers Running Store hosted a "fun run." The dude named Jason came and he tried to sprint away from the entire group. I ran him down and made him suffer a while.

In the shower, I got a little carried away shadow boxing and pulled a muscle in my right arm. It should heal fairly soon.

February 25, 2009

Wow, I got worked up this evening. Quest Diagnostics billed me for $1,000 worth of lab tests, which my insurance has passed on covering. (You see, I had blood drawn twice for a thyroid concern.) That's a lot of money...I'd rather be coughing up blood than paying that much.

Turns out the man who hit my car, and his insurer, won't pay for the damages to my bumper. No eyewitnesses, no dice.



I lifted some weights with The Boss tonight. He has an exercise room in his condominium. One guy was lifting weights in front of the mirror and making serious eye contact with himself. I made sure to block his line of vision while getting a drink from the water cooler.

February 24, 2009

I went to Lowes with my roommate. He bought hand tools, an extension cord, and sheets of foam for his makeshift recording studio. I bought grass seed for the bare spot in our backyard.


Wow, today was a pretty good day. How will tomorrow ever top it?

February 23, 2009

Shocker...today was an alright day. I ran out of milk so I had to eat instant oatmeal for breakfast.

Dr. Avakian replaced my cracked filling this morning. He's a no-nonsense dentist, but I can't help wondering if there's some funny business between him and his receptionist. She has a British accent and dyes her hair agressively.

Around midday, I met my neighbor from across the street, Ginger Swope. She told me about an amazing play showing at the Shakespeare Theatre. It's called The Dog in the Manger. She saw the performance with her partner and they stayed up into the wee hours of the morning discussing it.

At practice, the players started to get unruly. Ahmed called Jamal his worst enemy and the team took turns double dribbling.

February 22, 2009

Today was an alright day. Nally and I ran at Bull Run Battlefield. We ran so long that the screws fell out of my pedometer. (Nally is getting ready for Boston Marathon and a bike trip across the United States.)

We had a basketball game today. The scorekeeper and clock manager chuckled throughout the game while our team made silly turnovers. We managed two points in the 4th quarter on a pair of free throws. Nice work, Milkyas. Next time, try not to double dribble 4 times on your way to the basket.

I fell asleep at 8:13.

February 21, 2009

Once I finished reading The Fall by Camus, I went to Rock Creek Park for a run.

I came home and got a large Domino's pizza for 8.72

Later, my roommate was in the process of telling me that I race with a loser's attitude when he pointed out the cops on our street. A man was sitting on the ground beside his car and eight cops were milling about the block. I could hear some chitter chatter coming from farther down the street.

So naturally I went outside. My car was parked behind the suspect's car. It turns out there was some damage to my front bumper and a small mark on his back bumper. He said he didn't hit me - but I assumed he had. The cops - who had detained him following a nightclub altercation - said it looked dubious, or at least inconclusive. Eventually they released the man, but before he drove away his mother and aunts all told me that I wouldn't have said nothing if the other man wasn't black. It's racial bullshit they screeched as they drove out of sight.

February 20, 2009

Wow, today was a a lot of fun. Everyone I talked to was in fairly good spirits. Beirne was in the office but he was hovering over his work in the corner.

The Boss sent me out to the bodega for some beers. Along the way I saw the man with the Scottish terrier out for a walk. I tried to take his picture to show you, but it would have been obvious and rude. Then I saw a woman The Kid and I think is hot. She was walking her chihuahua. It was tiny and it was taking a shit. I thought about girls I've seen who are unhealthily skinny. If they don't eat, do they still shit?

After work, I spent a couple hours solving puzzles in one of those puzzle books you find on magazine racks. Then I started reading Cannery Row by Steinbeck. Then I watched the Bourne Ultimatum.
Hey Crew!

February 19, 2009

Today was a good day...mostly.

I got off on the right foot with a huge bowl of Cinnamon Streusel Mini Wheats. Then I got to work and realized I still haven't fixed The Kid's busted Bose headphones.

We had a happy hour after work. The company bought a keg and box wine and people brought fruit salads and other food. I met a new employee named Jim. He has dry skin and a doctorate in English from Florida.

At home, my roommate's new business scheme came up in conversation. "It can't fail," he claims. The idea is to start a review system for strip clubs (also called titty bars by the blue collar). The service would be comparable to Zagat's restaurant guide. Only the real money is in an iPhone app. Add that to publishing revenue, partnerships with clubs, and development into a premier review service for virtually all goods and services, and you have a staggering enterprise on your hands. All started by a mild yet earnest young man from Alexandria, Virginia.

But wait. After purchasing 6 domains for variations of TheEffulgentGentleman, he realized the Devil's work was at hand -- and immediately halted his plans in the name of the Good Lord.

February 18, 2009

Wow, The New came to play basketball this morning. I didn't think he'd show up but he did. He played without his glasses which made it tough to nail his jumpers.

From the gym I ran back home to shower. My roommate was in the bathroom. I waited a few minutes. Then I went ahead and changed clothes and put on deodorant and left for work. I was late, of course.



At CVS this evening a guy said, "excuse me, sir." He introduced himself and then asked if I was familiar with DARE? I said I was. In fact, I went through the program. Good he said. "And do you have any little ones?" he asked. No but I have 4 younger brothers and sisters. This weasly little guy asked a couple more inane questions before offering me an $11 t-shirt to help fund the DARE program. I told him I didn't have the money but I'd be happy to volunteer my time. So he handed me a pamphlet and sent me on my way.

February 17, 2009

You'd be surprised how insanely mundane today was. The trash got picked up. I got to work early. And my roommate's mom got a flight back to California. That was all before noon.

Outside Starbucks I found a BookCrossing.com book. Up the Down Staircase by Bel Kaufman. I left it in the office kitchen near the paper plates.

Purdue grabbed a big victory over Michigan State. I celebrated by running five miles.

February 16, 2009

There was a President's Day parade today. Most of it was a drag.

February 15, 2009

If you're ever shopping in Alexandria, avoid the kink shop that's down on King St. The basement floor is two large rooms of pornography DVDs. A short Asian man in a pink shirt and silver tie assured me that he could help me find anything I was looking for. But I found the stairs going back up on my own. The second floor is even more shocking. You can take my word for it.

Wow, the team I coach was shut out today. The refs have finally began to call double dribbles and travels. All American parents should teach their children not to travel or double dribble on the basketball court. It's called responsibility.

February 14th, 2009

Wow, I ran in a road race this morning. I came in 8th place by holidng off the first female finisher. She and I took turns pacing each other and every time I started to pull away she'd say "wait for me, thank you." I felt like I was escaping a rwandan genocide. All told it was a pathetic performance and I shit blood afterwards.

At the Eastern Market in D.C. a yellow-eyed man asked me for five dollars. He said it was for Stop the Violence, a charity to reduce the homicides in the metro area. There's a basketball event in March and another in August. You should go if you like ball. The man handed me bookmark-sized slip for the event. He asked me if I played and where I was from. When I said Indiana he wrote his cell on the back of the slip and said I could run on his squad. So I gave him the five dollars. Then I tried to walk away, but he told me a story about getting kicked off his college team for arguing with his coach about how overrated Steve Alford was... Steve Alford was overrated.

Whitney and I went to the Old Town Theatre for Valentine's. We saw He's Just Not Into You. Ironic, huh? People had told me the service at the theatre sucks, and we found that to be somewhat true. The owner is an old man from Michigan with a gravelly voice. He delayed the start of the movie until everyone was seated. To keep us complacent he showed us how to determine our dominant eye. Then he told us he's no longer going to pay the Post 3,600/mo for advertising. I hope this old man loses his business, because he's really just not good at it.

February 13, 2009

Friday the 13th was an alright day.

I lost my 11 game winning streak on the bumper pool table.

February 12, 2009

Wow... it's been an alright day.

Jessica called me to ask if I know any poems. We spent the better part of an hour discussing Edgar Allan Poe and his poetry on dreams. Then we teamed up to write our own poem:

My pillow is a cloud
Moving through the air.
Don't know where I'm going;
I'll find out when I get there.
I fight against my blanket
Like it's the blowing wind.
I grab for my stuffed puppy,
My fluffy furry friend.

So you see, my sister is perhaps the best poet in our family.

February 11, 2009

Oh wow, another day. This time I got up early for basketball. We ran 4 on 4 for 3 games. Lost every one.

For breakfast I had the half Tombstone pizza I brought for lunch. For lunch I had the two packs of Maple Instant Oats I brought for breakfast. Both were good.

After basketball practice tonight, I went running around the west end of Alexandria. I found a surprisingly good trail running behind all the apartment highrises. It was pretty dark along it and some dude in a soccer jersey was lurking behind me.

When I got home I learned how a dicator's death cuts me in on a 40.5 billion petroleum windfall.

February 10, 2009

Wow, today was a show. Outside my bedroom door was some tobacco my roommate dropped there. He rolls his own and calls it wacky tabacky. It's actually still there.

We had a scrimmage tonight in a mini-gym. Our players are lucky to keep their shoes tied - I don't know how they'll ever win.

This is the old Coca Cola building on King Street in Alexandria.







Last night I talked to Wheels on the phone. He said Dodson is working for Wells Fargo in Chicago and Gorrell is working for GNC in Colorado. It's good to hear we're all part of the 92.4% employment rate.

February 9, 2009

Wow, sometimes you feel like a nut.
















My roommate Anthony bought a juicer. I hadn't been home for 2 minutes this evening when he insisted I use the new juicer. He pulled out a bag of 11 large carrots from the fridge. "You gotta use 'em all" he insisted. Then he cut a piece of ginger about the size of a light bulb. He insisted I put everything in the machine. As I was doing this he insisted "it's great man. only thing is you gotta wash all this." The juice tasted like ginger. When Anthony wasn't looking I added lemonade.

I made the whole team run a down and back tonight. I said something like if you can't listen to me and do what i tell you then we're going to run.

Guess what? We've been out of toilet paper for a few days at my place. I've bought or stolen 29 of the last 31 rolls. This time, I thought, I'll hold out, make someone else buy it. Well, here we are two days later and someone has shoved shreds of paper towel under the bathroom sink, but no one has bought toilet paper. So I went to Giant to buy some.

Sometimes you don't feel like a nut - you feel like a chump.

February 8, 2009

So it went like this...

I started watching the Purdue game this afternoon. Then it was time to go play basketball myself. I dribbled nearly a mile down the street. Some of the guys were already there. One was there and then he disappeared. Turns out he was taking a dukie. We finally started playing. My team had three tremendous oafs on it. It was startling how awful they were. We lost 3 of 4.

We won our first game playing a zone. Then Hanson got hot - he buried a few from the outside. That's about the time we decided to switch to man-to-man. But, seriously, if this ever happens to you, let the dude shoot it from the outside. Chances are he'll miss most of the time.

Does Vegas change the rules when someone has a run?

Afterwards in my dejection I got a smoothie with the guys. We watched Rich slurp down a half gallon of that stuff. Meanwhile someone stole my basketball that I'd left beside his car. Then I got a text: Purdue lost 48-66.

February 7, 2009

Wow, today was nice.

At Giant the register lady mentioned a dozen roses were going for $18.99 all week. "That's a good price," she said. "Every girl ought to have her some roses on Valentine's Day." Well, sure.

The basketball team I coach practiced at the court just down the street today. Some of the kids are starting to hit a lot of shots. They all drank two Gatorades apiece, which led to sugar buzzes and more or less ended practice. Ahmed told me that I live in a really sunny neighborhood.

I saw some babes that went to William & Mary while I was window shopping at the used book store. Then I saw them again when they walked by the basketball court. Plus the babes that live across the street walked by. My street cred is through the roof right now.

February 6, 2009

Damn, I got to the very end of my day and found out my roommate had just opened and started using my last bar of soap.

Up in D.C. I went for a run around the monuments and up on Capitol Hill. I saw a fox run across the frozen reflecting pool. It made me think of Jenny calling out "Forrrest! Forrrest!"

At Bring Your Parents to Work Day we had BBQ and yellow cake. The Kid didn't enjoy himself one bit. Except for when he imagined one of the aging fathers smoking a fatty before he got here just so he could tolerate our office environment.

February 5, 2009

A third pretty good day in a row. We got new computers for work. The Boss was surprisingly calm about it. But The New didn't really approve. Of course, no one expected him to.

I went to Game Night tonight. It's hosted by Chief Rule Breaker, who is actually insistent on everyone learning and following the rules. I lost some Star Wars type game twice - once to Scott Day who I rudely referred to as "you." (I wasn't sure his name was Scott or not.)

I considered running when I got home, but my roommate began a long-lasting conversation, in which I learned the Russian mob runs New York, man.

See that piece of heaven on earth above? That's where the real shit goes down. Best backboards anywhere. Ask the dude I met there last Saturday night. His name was Wayne and he was from Carolina. His brother was having a CD release party in the church across the street. Wayne dunked it even though it had been over two days since his last slam. Then he got out his camera phone to take a picture of the backboard. All this while claiming to weigh 320 lbs.

February 4, 2009

Wow, today was pretty good. I got the ball rolling with two bowls of Fruit Loops. Later, on the bumper pool table I was 5-1.

At the library I asked the librarian if it was true that they would start closing on Sundays. I had seen the news on the local cable network. She said "yes." I asked her if they might be able to stay open if volunteers were to work Sundays. She said "That just can't happen. We don't have the funds for volunteers."

In the exercise room a guy told me he was a Washington Huskies fan. He claimed that this year he'd go see them in the first round of the tournament - presuming they make it. It was like Clark Griswold telling his coworkers that he was using the company bonus to put in a pool.

February 3, 2009

Wow, today was an alright day. When I woke up my roommate's mom was washing her hair in the kitchen sink. Out of disgust I got ready for work quicker than usual, and I got there a bit sooner than normal.

I was worried most of the morning that I wouldn't have a good lunch since I forgot to pack one. But I scraped together a good peanut butter sandwich and a banana. My friends Trog and The New had half-week old chili.














Once home I watched Purdue falter in overtime. I was agitated so I went out and shot basketball for an hour. Then I ran five miles. Then I came back home. My other roommate told me someone's dog had shit on our bathroom rug. But he was able to scoop it up and throw it in the toilet without leaving a stain. I secretly wondered if he'd used his hands. Before falling asleep I read a bit of The World According to Garp. It gets better as you go.